Project: Parental Goals

I recently asked some friends, “As a Mother, what are some goals you want to achieve for yourself, and your children?” The answers I got were pretty genuine and many shared the same answers; To love God, to walk in his path, to be a responsible adult, a loving caring person, to understand we are all unique and no one is perfect, to always keep them safe and loved, to always respect themselves and others, and, my favorite of all (of course) “To Love God, Love People & Serve the World!” *

As parents, we want to see our children grow up to be better than us; yes I said it, BETTER than us. We can all sit down (mother of father) and find some fault in the way we raised our children, even if it was just once incident of losing our temper. So, how do we encourage our children to be examples of us, if not better? We share with them the truths we know in our heart.

These truths do not come from “Nurture vs. Nature” but more so from “Nurture & Nature & Fellowship”.   Yes, Fellowship.

As parents, we have to make decisions for our children until they are able to make responsible decisions themselves. But in making these decisions, we don’t say “This is what you are going to do, because I say so.” … *awkward silence*… Yes, I know, I’ve said it a million times to Kathleen!! But, the point is we are not making these decisions because we have the power to; we are making these decisions because we want to teach our children what decisions are best.

·         Choosing family reading time over family TV time helps build imagination.

·         Helping your child fill her plate for dinner in correct portions helps build better eating habits.

·         Choosing upbeat music that is encouraging and positive will help your child stay upbeat and positive.

·         Encouraging your child’s learning and helping with homework will help them see that education is important.

·         Choosing healthy snacks over sugary treats will help your child understand why they are called “treats” and not “snacks”.

There are many more things you can do to help your child grow into the adult you envision them as. But there is one thing we must always remember; we can encourage, but we cannot force.

I am 100% positive I did not turn out the way my mother had hoped or dreamed of the day I was born, or while she was pregnant with me, but she is still proud of who I am. She is proud of my good qualities, and she is proud of how I have overcome some of the bad ones. And I am sure she is proud of the fact that after 17 years of dealing with depression, I am strong on the path to still finding a treatment plan that helps. I know she is proud of the mother I am, the woman I have become, and the daughter I try to be.

You see, while we have all these goals for our children, we must remember one thing, it is ultimately their life, and all we can do is instill our values with them, not in them.

You see, the greatest gift God gave us was the ability to make choices, and the greatest job as a parent it to make sure our child knows the difference between good and bad choices.

So, at the end of the day, our goals, no matter how wide variety they become all end up being the same; raise our child in a way that makes for an example of that which we are.

*To understand why this goal is my favorite and so close to my heart, please visit Momentum Christian Church web site (http://www.momentumchurch.com/) to check out more about my home church and even listen to some ads, and podcast.